Clay and I participated in the local Ride of Silence last night to honor of those who have been injured or killed while cycling on public roadways. I had my usual bout of people phobia / social anxiety and it was a bit of work riding up some of those hills with a 40 lb boy and a tag-a-long strapped onto the back of my mountian bike, especially considering that I'm gravitationally challenged to begin with. But we made it through just fine.
I've felt like an emotional basketcase this morning. At first I couldn't figure out what was going on but after I got into work it dawned on me just how much this ride affected me. Everyday when I ride to work I'm so hyper-aware of the fact that a car or truck or bus could take me out in the blink of an eye. To come face to face with the fact that so many others have met this fate is unsettling to the core to say the least.
Add to this the fact that I'm turning 46 this weekend and that I'll be away from my family for my birthday because I decided to take a workshop at Pendle Hill (when I'm not even feeling that sure about my capacity to do the Quaker thing) and maybe its starting to look like I have a few reasons for feeling like a basketcase this morning.